Lalu Prasad

Do all human beings survive on opiates

Ajit glowfriend Public Matters , , , , , , , , , ,

Recently one of the leading magazines in India published an article which brought out the fact that gossiping was a favourite pastime of most of us human beings and it added to social networking abilities of human race. While social networking may be one the fallouts of this activity the reason for the indulgence into gossip seems to be something beyond this analysis. Close analysis of day to day human behaviour appears to lead to the inference that human brains appear to need regular dose of stimulation in order to keep us in a state of positive thinking and survive against ups and downs of our struggle for survival in a harsh world. Different members of human species have in the process developed our respective opiates on which we depend for doses of happiness   or excitement .

Take the case of cricket lovers. Nowadays since the game is on round the year in one or another part of the world and innovations like the T20 format of  cricket offer instant results, the cricket lovers seem to have  evolved a continous source of stimulation in shape of ball to ball commentary,  accompanying fanfare and analysis . Other joys and sorrows of day to day life have secondary importance in life of a genuine cricket fan whose brain cells are regularly  tickling with the details on tumbling  records and updates on fluctuations in fortunes of teams and the men who toil between the performance of cheerleaders.When it comes to minute to minute account , another breed of human beings are those interested in ups and downs of share market index. Far too many of us keep track of online tradings without having any worthwhile stakes in the share market.The thrill of being a part of speculation keeps a good proprtion of us glued to laptops when life becomes less exciting for a while.

Not close behind in the reliance on stimulants are the human species practising the avocation which is branded as last refuge of scoundrels. Sheltered behind dignified terminology of politicians these men and women need continuos injection of ego inflating monuments and statues which give  them a temporary impression of towering over ordinary mortals. Take away the stonelaying ceremonies and public felicitations from a politician and the person sinks into depression , becomes  social anarchist and tends to attack everything within sight whether it is a railway budget or a photographer taking snaps.

Religion -another widely used source of stimulation offers allurement  of having higher quality of life after death or in rebirth. That keeps so many of us professing different religious beliefs, busy in continous process of offering our prayers to whichever power we consider to be supreme. In practical terms it gets translated to sporting prominenetly one  religious symbol or other and considering religious duties as something which should take precedence over our professional commitments and social responsibilities. But it does surely keep a large chunk of humanity in state of contentment and sometimes also busy in dreams of conquering all other religions to establish a supremacy of our own religion.

This discussion cannot be complete unless we think of those for whom pay revisions , promtions and transfers are the opiates which keep their minds and hearts preoccupied on 24X7 basis. The Govt. servants  of all hue survive   on calculation of pay benefits,  discussion over supremacy of respective service over others  and the unfair treatment meted out to them by the employer . Hoping for a better posting, anticipating release of next installment of DA or awiting the meeting of Departmental Promotion Committee keeps our brother hood in a state of intoxication which makes them tick in a otherwise treachorous environment.

Bloggers have their own galvanising force.When I statred blogging, the first thing which I usd to do in the morning was to check the hit counter and accordingly would feel happy or depressed if hits were too many or too few during the night. For months together I kept analysing the statistical details to find out as to which readers came from where and read which posts. Thank god I ultimately  realised the absurdity of all this analysis and gave up blog writing for a long time in order to become deaddicted to hit counter.Things are back to normal now i.e. I am more preoccupied with routine addictions of Govt. servants mentioned above.

While  opiates certainly seem to have taken a firm grip over our intellectual behaviour, this situation  has thrown up  some complications and  challenges too.  The recent tragic end of a famous Pop star has exposed the risks involved in  taking of too many anti depressants  since the combination produces unpredictable outcomes.The same complication sometimes occurs when a peron gets addicted to more than one  opiate like a govt servant getting interested in politics or a politician becoming deeply religious .The system and society has to then put in extra efforts to survive the mutants.

Report of Sixth CPC :Influenced by Bachchan family?

Ajit glowfriend Sixth CPC , , ,

Since the initial euphoria about the Pay Commission Report was dying out we thought of having a virtual survey of stake holders in order to find out as to who was saying what about the Commission report. While doing rounds of the corridors of power the glowfriend started with the humble Gungadeen peon in Ministry of Sensational Developments . Offcourse Gungadeen had heard the Babus deliberating over the report but all that he knows about his fate is that he would be getting a five figure salary in not too distant future. About the arrears part he was a bit depressed since “..20-25 hajar rupai may to pahli beti ki shaadi wala loan bhi nahi cover hoga….” (20-25 thousand would not even settle the loan for first daughter’s marriage) .

The ever cheerful  stenographer in the section Madam Ragini was also not so pleased with the belated announcement on six month’s maternity leave ” ….. jab bacche bade ho gai..” ( …now when Children have grown up) and for flexible working hours .”….Yeh bhi kaun si nai baat hai , ladies and officers to sab pahle hi apni marji se aatey jatey the.” (What is new about that , ladies and officers came and went as per their will earlier also). Under Secretary Mr. Bhattacharya popularly known as Bhatta Babu was still pouring over the excel sheet hosted by some enterprising “Arrear Calculator” on the website .”….. Yeh saab baaahut conphuson hai DA ka rate ka bare mein kuch theeek theek bola nahin , Khali JS and above ke liye report hai. Hamara kya banega lakh taka bhi nahin milega arrear mein. “ (it is all very confusing, DA calculation formula is not clear . All benefit is for JS and above).

We then knoked at the door of PA to JS in the MInistry. PA was a bit scared ” Jab se report aaya hai sahab bad mood mein hai .” (Sahab is in bad mood ever since the report has come). Still then glowfriend tried to take a chance. Mr.  Balasain was staring agitatedly at the laptop screen while browsing the download of CPC Report. It’s atrocious he said “See we sit here till 9 PM and type out cabinet notes , and it is the peon who corners all the benefit. When I started my job 30 years back a four figure salary was a status symbol . Now my peon will be getting five figure salary. I am shocked! ” . When asked about the arrear part Bala was still more upset .“Arrear of 3-4 Lakhs what would that get us ? A single room tenement in some JJ Colony ! And tell me how is the Government concerned with the mileage points that I earn on official journeys by air . How can the mileage points be monitored ?” . Having seen the mood of civil servants we decided to talk to some political bigwigs.

The Old comrade in CPI appeared quite agitated over the manner in which Tatas and Ambanis were taking over the country. “What will the middle class do with that illgotten money ? Buy Nano and what else?  See how the lowest paid workers are suffering everywhere . Is anyone bothered?”

The madam ex politician cum animal right activist  was quirte hurt when asked to comment on the headline “Peanuts for Monkeys” with reference to CPC Report. “Please spare the monkeys why do you degrade them like this” . The politician from South in sunglasses had however a different reaction to the cited headlines.”Monkeys are free to enjoy their peanuts but they should not make false claims regarding ancient underwater bridges.”
The politico from Bihar was also quite upset like all others ” Hum jo kuch bhi karta hai yeh log sab satyanash kar deta hai. Dekho hum rail ka kiraya itna kum kar diye ki ab hamar samadhi log bhi AC two tier mein ticket kharid ke chalta hai. Aur yeh log LTC may hawai jahaj permit karta hai . Sara chhota mota aadmi flight mein bhara rahta hai.”(Whatever I do these fellows spoil that. See I have reduced the train fare so much that even my relatives buy tickets for train travel. And these fellows are permitting air travel for LTC . All petty persons nowadays crowd the flights)
For the patriotic reigonal leader the Commission conspiracy is quite evident from the name of Commission itself. “Just see how they have doubled transport allowance . Who do you think will benefit… All Bihari Taxiwalas only. House rent…. they pay highest for Mumbai so that all Govt Servants from whole of the country may rush to this city.”

The best response was from the lady CM : “It is all conspiracy of Bachchans to ruin the economy of my State . Very soon our employees would ask for similar pay rise.” But how did she conclude that it was inspired by Bachchan influence? ” Because dekho yeh Abhishake Bachchan suggested in an ad that all individuals should have a number instead of name for identification. I hear that this Commission has done the same and officer’s seniority would now be known with a number. Yeh grade pay kya hai yahi to hai. Sub afsaron ko number de diya.” (What is this grade pay, they allotted numbers to all officers). Madam it appeared was agitated since all the fun in suspending and shunting senior bureaucrats had gone. A news item in future would perhaps read like “ CM today during her field visit to Rai Bareilly ordered suspension of A Kumar an officer of Grade pay 6000/- while she shunted out B Prasad of Grade Pay 66oo/-…… and with this order the cumulative grade pay total of the officers suspended in the first quarter of the financial year crossed the magical  figure of Rs. 1 Lakh”. Public would need a ready reckoner to appreciate the boldness of the job done by Bahanji!.

Wow! Molestation at Mumbai !

Ajit glowfriend Public Matters , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wow ! TV channels have again had a scoop. An urban city photographer has clicked a roll on indecent behavior towards women outside a five star hotel at Mumbai. So now let everyone come out. A panel discussion on psychology of urban youth and reasons for their rowdy behaviour is a must for all kinds of media channels. The defenders of Bhartiya Sabhyata and Sanskriti can have a field day protesting out side police headquarters. The ever active female rights champion actress ( despite having usurped the conjugal rights of another women in her private life) must grab the opportunity to condemn the male psyche and inefficiency of police. In the meanwhile the TV channels must go on flashing the “shameful” incident shamelessly every 10 minutes. The enterprising photographer.. the man behind the heroic act can also pass on some pics to bloggers so that they can also open respective show windows on the erratic behaviour of the crowd by displaying the exciting pictures while taking a moralistic stand on public humiliation of women.

The Police Chief has to rise to the defence of his men citing various statistics to minimize the impact of adverse media publicity . He has to be proactive , so that he may not be required to ask his men as to why they failed to catch the goons on spot despite all bandobust in the name of new year’s eve. Police Commisioners and residents of other metros can take consolation from the fact that it was not their metro which was in limelight this time for the wrong reasons. The metro of Delhi can at least temporarily forget the shame of various daylight abduction and assault cases of recent past. It can also take pride in the fact that it’s mobs attacked two lecherous sons of a union minister who were indulging in eve teasing .

As the investigation proceeds further the victims are found to be NRIs , so the entire nation can feel relieved to some extent on the assumption that it must have been flashy foreigner like clothes of the NRIs which provoked the crowd into beastly behaviour and the logical assumption can also be used explain the inaction on part of other “good men” in the crowd who did nothing to help the victims.

As for the victims they can take consolation from the fact that the “cop car” ( as they refer to the police Gypsy) was in the vicinity of the scene of crime and they were rescued in time. Hopefully, they are aware that their motherland has a very exciting track record of humiliating the mothers and sisters of the nation. Crimes like mass assault on women in Nandigram , Gujrat or in North East have remained unpunished under our legal system . They may also pray to God that media may soon discover some other hot news item quickly so that repeat of the painful incident after every ten minutes is put to an end.

There is another group of stakeholders which in entangled this mess .. it is the group of middle class parents of the perpetrators of the assault who must be wondering as to where the upbringing of their children went wrong. While their respective domestic debates can go on endlessly ,they can however draw some consolation from the fact that Lalu Prasad Ji is perhaps afflicted with similar thoughts right now after thrashing of his sons by the a Delhi mob for eve teasing .